Adding a list to check out

Hi,
   Not sure I entirely understand your requirement - but it seems to match, mostly,  existing functionality in ProductCart.

You can add options to Products, even several sets of options and, when the order is processed  an email is sent out with  details of all the options etc. To have the email sent to different people depending on the options would take some custom coding - OR, alternatively, just add rules in your  email program to  forward the  order email depending on the text - simple, free & avoids amending the code. If you want to guarantee the emails are forwarded stright away (independent of you checking emails) then you could do the same with, say, a GMAIL email address. 
IF you want the customer to be able to get a quote  before ordering, which I'm guessing may be a requirement, then you will  need the BTO version of ProductCart - I've NOT used the quoting feature, so check the manual as to exactly how it works, if you need it.

This sounds more like Affiliate sales, I assume you have investigated that feature & it doesn't suit for whatever reason. I'm also assuming this is not "drop shipping", which also has specific code in ProductCart (especially as it seems each product could be associated with multiple dealers).

To add options to a specific product first create the option group and then add it to the products that you need this for. You can set  the option to be required if you wish.
 
This can be done from the "Products" part of the admin menu.

No problem,
There's a tickbox for "Required Option" bottom left of the list in the screen for options of the product. 
Note - this is at the individual product level & not in the screen where you create the option groups.

Yes, In the product or list of products & from there select options.